CDB golf: August 2009

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Bizarro World

I never thought it would happen, but it did yesterday in norman (maybe that's why!). On the back nine at the Jimmie Austin Golf Club, Travis and I somehow managed to exchange golf games. Personally, I think that when Travis blew out the candles on his very delicious pumpkin cake that his fabulous wife baked the day before, he made a "Freaky Friday" birthday wish; which, consequently, just happened to be on a Friday! But, before I get to the back-nine, you have to know what happened on the front-nine.

For about the past three weeks, I've been pretty inconsistent with my driver. What started as a few hooks or pulls off the tee in a round slowly turned into a consistent duck-hook. To remedy this, I made some modifications to my grip and swing; that's all I did to correct my slice months ago. Suffice it to say that I got to the point where I could (can) hit the ball any direction but straight. I had one good drive on the front, which was on the first hole. After that, it seemed like I was taking a drop on every hole. What started out as problems off the tee turned into problems everywhere. I think I even had a couple 'episodes.' I finished with a 57. A 57! I can't remember the last time I played nine holes that badly, probably well before the Mandate. Travis, as usual, played very consistent and didn't make any big mistakes. He shot a respectable 45. Bogey golf isn't bad, especially when playing a Perry Maxwell-designed course for the first time. The biggest surprise was that Travis used his driver. The big dipper! I haven't seen him use the BD consistently in months. Sure he had a couple drives that could have been better, but I don't remember him having any terrible drives.

After the 57, I knew I had to do something drastic. So, at the turn I did a couple of drastic things. First, Travis was nice enough to buy us both a couple beers. I know CDB-Law is very strict on drinking beer while trying to play a serious round, but as I may have mentioned, this was an extraordinarily desperate situation. Besides, it was CDB2's idea; and he always knows what is best for CDB. The second drastic thing I did was put away the driver. First time ever. But hell, I had been watching Travis beat me (usually) for the past two months using his Little Dipper off the tee. So, I tried using my 3-wood off the tee. First hole on the back-nine? My first par of the day. I would go on to par four MORE holes en route to a 42. That's right, fifteen strokes less than the front-nine for a total of 99. Best 99 of my life. Mr. Consistent shot another 45 for a solid 90, bogey golf.

CDB Glossary of Terms

80s Dad at the Hamptons - Probably Derek's best golf outfit.
Bad Tiger - An excellent recovery shot after a poor shot, ideally scrambling to make par or bogey. One can also play like a "Bad Tiger" for an entire round, hitting numerous, par or bogey-saving shots.
Baffy - A 5 wood; Travis is especially adept with his Baffy and has been known to hit it instead of anything longer than a 6-iron.
Big Dipper - Trav's Cleveland Driver. A larger version of the Little Dipper that Trav only uses on special and very severe, dogleg-right occasions.
Bo Derek - Trav's nickname for Derek when he hits an especially good shot, one that could be described as a '10'. Also a sandwich created by Derek that may not have technically been a '10,' but was close enough to round up.
Callie - Trav's Yes putter.
CDB - Derek and Travis. Travis and Derek. D and Trav. Trav and D.
CDB1-derek
CDB2-Trav
Choked Baffy - A baffy that one chokes, or grips down to hit shorter than a normal Baffy. This usually occurs when CDB is anywhere from 170-190 yards out, mostly to avoid hitting a 4 or 5 iron.
EWC - Excellent Wedge Control. Ironically, also the last three letters in Trav's new license plate.
EWL - Effective wedge loft, which is very important. Ironically, also the last three letters in Derek's new license plate.
Fairfaxian - Dreary, foggy, drizzly, crisp, calm, soothing, and cool. Possibly CDB's favorite golf weather and what they imagine the weather in Scotland to be like. So named for the first, and only, time CDB played Fairfax Golf Course in Edmond.
Feathery - Almost a birdie, so really it's just par. But it's almost a birdie!
Filthy Baffy - A baffy that needs to be cleaned. Generally, a filthy baffy performs much better than a clean baffy. Therefore, CDB's baffies are almost always filthy.
Furry Bird - A 9-hole Par 3 course in Moore, next to Interstate-44, that is managed by a bar that can only be described as questionable at best. The 'Bird' is known for its long, 'furry' greens and bird-like mosquitoes. CDB is known to frequent the 'Bird' the night before playing a full 18, often resulting in the start of a mini golf mandate.
Golf Mandate - In its purest form, a Golf Mandate is a trip in which the participants (CDB) play as much golf as humanly possible for the duration of the trip. In their first annual Golf Mandate, CDB played 99 holes in approximately 50 hours, with 45 of those holes being played in one day. It should also be noted that golf will also dominate the participants' conversations, thoughts, dreams, etc., while on the Mandate. *See also, Mini-Golf Mandate.
Honey - Trav's vintage PING Anser 4 BeCu putter.
Johnson Grass - Also known as native grass, is specific type of grass, which is really more like a plant, is a CDB favorite; although it is unknown whether either CDB actually knows what it is.
Klingon Warship - Derek's TaylorMade putter that Trav says looks like a Klingon Warship.
Little Dipper - Trav's Cleveland 3-wood that "scoops" down on the back of the crown resembling an ice cream scoop, or dipper. Travis almost always hits his LD off the tee.
Mini Golf Mandate - Similar to the Golf Mandate in its goals, only in a shorter amount of time. Mini Golf Mandates usually occur over the course of 12 to 36 hours and typically include 27 to 36 holes. Mini Mandates are almost exclusively played while at home and are often unplanned. *See also, Golf Mandate.
Rain Gear - A hat. This is the only 'rain gear' CDB needs. Although it has been suggested that CDB is rainproof (this is due to the fact that CDB has yet to encounter 'unplayable' weather) CDB is in fact no longer "rainproof" as of 6.24.09.
Rossa - Derek's TaylorMade putter.
Slow Travis - A very slow golf swing, almost exclusively used on one's drive. Oddly enough, Derek employs the Slow Travis much more than Travis. Sometimes also referred to as an Easy Travis.
Travino-Derek's nickname for Travis when he hits an especially good shot.
W2 - Derek's 56 degree wedge that he uses intermittently due to his love/hate relationship with W2.
Warm Banana - A warm banana; preferably one that has been left in a hot car.

Courses Played

Broadmoore GC; Moore, OK: (3) 4.19.09, 7.2.09, 7.13.09
Coffee Creek; Edmond, OK: (2) 1.31.09, 9.6.09
Cimarron Trails; Perkins, OK: (1) 9.12.09
Earlywine GC; OKC, OK: (1) 2.28.09
Fairfax GC; Edmond, OK: (1) 4.18.09
Firelake GC; Shawnee, OK: (1) 3.09
Indian Springs CC; Broken Arrow, OK: (1) 6.21.09
LaFortune GC; Tulsa, OK: (1) May, '09
Lincoln Park GC, West Course; OKC, OK: (3) 5.16.09, 5.16.09, 9.7.09
Mohawk Park, Woodbine; Tulsa, OK: (2) 6.24.09, 7.6.09
Page Belcher, Olde Page; Tulsa, OK: (2) 6.6.09, 7.7.09
Page Belcher, Stone Creek; Tulsa, OK: (1) 6.11.09
Rose Creek GC; Edmond, OK: (1) 7.2.09
The Cove; Lake Ozark, MO: (1) 6.1.09
The Ridge; Lake Ozark, MO: (4.5) 5.31.09, 5.31.09 (9), 6.1.09, 6.1.09 (9), 6.2.09, 6.2.09 (9)
White Hawk GC; Bixby, OK: (1) 6.20.09
Winter Creek GC; Blanchard, OK: (1) 7.11.09
Totals: Courses Played: 18, Rounds Played: 27.5, Holes Played: 441